A dangerous cycle is set in motion when we begin thinking we’re not the parent, employee, neighbor or friend we want to be.

We may feel like we’re not only short-changing everyone around us, but soon, our thinking drifts toward ourselves and we begin wondering, “When was the last time I did anything for me?”

It is a very natural progression, and it is a huge relational hazard when I begin thinking the most important person in my life is me. That’s not to say we shouldn’t take good care of ourselves, but we must be careful not to allow our lives to be driven by selfishness and self-centered desires.

What would happen if you decided to make a commitment to give yourself up in the fight for healthy relationships? What if you decided to stop making excuses for your own selfishness?

What if the most selfish thing you did in your marriage or other important relationships was to focus on ending your own selfishness? A decision to treat your own self-centeredness as the main problem in your marriage could be a giant step toward ending a lot of marriage problems.

Who is the most important person in your life? Who is the most important person in your marriage? All of us must fight against the temptation to make it all about us. We must fight to make sure our spouse is first. It won’t just happen.

Are you willing to ask, “How can I glorify God in this relationship?” The fight for your marriage begins even before you say, “I do” and it lasts until your dying day.

Do your words, actions, attitudes, reactions and motives indicate that Jesus is Lord in your life and in your marriage? People have a misconception that loving someone should be easy and that marriage isn’t hard. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Loving and being loved is hard. That’s because we are all broken people. It is only through the Lord’s strength and power that we can love each other well, the way he calls us to love in marriage.

Would you be willing to treat your spouse as the most important person in your life? Would you be willing to do so for an entire week? Then follow up at the end of the week by asking, “Did you feel like the most important person in my life?”

Doing this won’t be easy, but it could begin turning some things around in the relationships that matter most in your life. Your marriage is worth fighting for.

Steve Greene is the lead pastor of The Point in Seymour. Read his blog at pastorgreene.wordpress.com or email him at [email protected]. Send comments to [email protected].