The American Library Association elected a new president, Emily Drabinski, last year.

The new president has billed herself as a Marxist lesbian. I assume she also is accomplished in the discipline of library and information services and has fine leadership skills.

But that may be an incidental matter in the current world of library and information science. In other words, could a capitalist lesbian have won the ALA election? Or a Marxist heterosexual?

On the other hand, maybe I should first ask to which Marxism she is dedicated, Karl’s or Groucho’s?

There’s a world of devastating difference between the two.

One of them, Karl (1818-1883), author of “The Communist Manifesto,” egregiously exhorted workers of the world to unite because they only had their chains to lose. Well, I guess that’s true if you don’t count workers losing food (millions of Russian farmers intentionally starved to death by Karl’s ardent followers) or losing lives (tens of millions of Russians worked to death or executed in pursuit of Karl’s chainless society).

The other Marx, Groucho (1890-1977), said he’d never join a club that would have him as a member and made funny movies in Hollywood. You might bill him as the kinder, gentler one in the extended Marx family tree.

To which is our ALA president committed?

Two lottery tickets says Emily Drabinski is devoted to chainless Karl’s brand of Marxism rather than Groucho’s more lighthearted variety.

‘Tis a pity.

And it is. The American Library Association has chosen as its leader a Marxist. Mind you, this isn’t the Chinese, Cuban, Venezuelan or even the North Korean Library Association.

No, it’s the American Library Association, 50,000 American professional members strong.

To be sure, I’m positive Miss Drabinski rejects the masses of bodies piled up in the 1917-1953 Russian adaptation of Marxism and that her vision of Marxist governance would be intended to be kinder and gentler, more like Groucho’s.

And surely wouldn’t that be the intention of any subsequent adaptations of Karl Marx’s blueprint for paradise? After all, what kindly Marxist would want to use oppression to end oppression other than those dastardly Russians?

Well, let’s see. Let’s follow President Drabinski into her library and investigate the humane advancements Marxists have step by step made through time as they’ve yearned to rescue mankind from the chains of oppression.

And assisting me in this review of Marxist history is Mrs. Laura Hollis, an Indiana attorney, academic, mother and sometime columnist for Jewish World Review. She provides a nice Cliff Notes history of Marxist conduct around our globe:

-Beginning in 1917, 60 million lives sacrificed for Russian Marxism.

-Starting in 1949, nearly 80 million lives terminated to create a Chinese Marxist promised land.

-In the 1970s, Cambodian Marxists snuffed out the lives of nearly 3 million people, 40 to 50% of the Cambodian population, seeking to establish a socially just Marxist society.

-Marxist economic policies starved to death 2.5 to 3.5 million people in North Korea in the mid-1990s. (A minor detail for the committed Marxist.)

-We see a great advancement in the 1959 Cuban Marxist revolt by Castro. He had to execute only 20,000 to 40,000 of his countrymen. Mind you 25% of Cubans either fled or were expelled by Castro. Meanwhile, those executed generously donated most of their blood before execution. As Castro no doubt said, “Donate blood. Save a life.” And today, Cuba can boast that 72% of its people live in poverty and 64% suffer with food insecurity.

-And outdoing their mentor, Cuba’s Castro, Venezuela’s Chavez and Maduro have limited their executions to less than 10,000, a merciful decline. Puzzlingly, some 8 million citizens have fled this budding Marxist utopia. It may be that they are disappointed with the generous downward mobility program offered under Marxist policy. Seventy six percent of the people now live in extreme poverty, an important achievement for the once wealthiest nation in Latin America.

-And at present, Julius Malema, the popular Marxist leader of the Economic Freedom Fighters’ Party in the nation of South Africa, leads cheers of “Kill the Boer!” (white African farmers) at his political rallies and calls for the “seizure of private property without compensation” and government control of gold mines, banks and industries. He declares plans to “destroy South African capitalism” and model the country on Cuba, a nation he calls a “successful socialist state.”

Would that be our Marxist librarian’s dearest hope, that America be fundamentally transformed into a “successful socialist state?”

And while we in Seymour are blessed with the finest, nicest professional librarians, the inexplicable Emily Drabinski presides over the national organization.

Now, back to Mrs. Hollis for a conclusion:

“No matter where it has been tried … [Marxism] has produced exactly the same results: Economic collapse, famine, starvation, oppression, widespread imprisonment, human suffering and death on a massive scale.”

Please, put that in your Dewey Decimal System, Emily.

Alan Winslow, a resident of Seymour, occasionally writes a column for The Tribune. Send comments to [email protected].