Is there a relationship in your life where you need to take responsibility, make the first move or admit that you were wrong?
Are you sincerely sorry, not only for what happened but for where things stand in the relationship today?
We can all be so stubborn. I like to refer to it as being determined. That seems to have a more positive connotation. But sometimes, if I am honest, I can be just plain stubborn. I bet you can, too. And we don’t like to admit it when we are wrong. Surely, it has to be somebody else’s fault. How could it be me?
The goal for a broken relationship is not reconciliation. The goal is to live with no regret. If reconciliation is the goal, that means we have an agenda. But we don’t control the relationship. We don’t have all of the parts, and we don’t hold all of the cards.
Our goal is to do our part and live with no regret regardless of how the other person responds. We want to know we did everything that we could possibly do, and we want to continue doing everything we possibly can to restore the relationship. That is how you can live with no regret.
The truth is that reconciliation will be an ongoing process throughout our lives. And we need to understand it is a moving target because it can impact so many different relationships on so many levels in so many ways.
A great reminder for all of us is found in Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” It is not completely up to you, but as much as it depends on you, if you have it in you, if you are willing to do this, live at peace with everyone.
Reassembling a broken relationship requires four important decisions. First, I must decide to get back to, not get back at, the other person. I must decide that retribution and retaliation are off the table.
God is our great example in all of this. All of us have sinned against a perfect and holy God. God’s response to our sin was to get back to us, not get back at us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” — John 3:16 (NLT)
We’ll pick up right there next time.