Remember, we are to have the same mindset and the same perspective as Jesus when it comes to the important matter of relationships.

This is what it looks like to follow Jesus relationally: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” — Romans 12:15 (NIV) This is sometimes difficult for us to do. And if we don’t want to do it, doesn’t that reveal something about our heart?

If these things are not something we are doing or something we are willing to do, it reveals we have some work to do in our journey of being refined in the image of Jesus. This is something that is almost impossible to do on your own. We need God’s help to get this right. And once again, this is something we can control because we can choose to allow God to go to work on us, in us and through us.

So much of what we tend to focus on in broken relationships we cannot control. What if we decide to go to work on the things we can control? Through the power of his spirit, he can show us what is wrong. We can own it, and with his help, we can change it.

Romans 12:16 says, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud.” If we want to be honest about it, pride is what ignites and fuels our attempt to convict, convince, coerce and control others. These things are indicators of our own desire to prove we are right and the other person is wrong. That means these issues are often rooted in pride.

If people would see the world like we see it and if they would live like we live and if they would think like we think, the world would be a better place and we would all get along so much better. We joke about these things, but they are at the root of so much of the turmoil we face, and if we are honest, we would also have to admit they are rooted in pride, selfishness and sin. None of these things represent the will of God for our lives.

While the desire to get even may seem normal and natural, we must admit it is a part of our human nature that the holy spirit wants to redeem, purify, cleanse and transform because God’s goal for us is that we become more and more like Jesus.