By Les Linz
Those who know me will tell you “Les gets more excited about marrying a couple than the couple he’s marrying” (honeymoon notwithstanding).
A major wedding component?
The vow.
A common element, defined as a solemn promise and the exchanging of them between premarital parties, is as old as weddings themselves.
From a spiritual/Biblical perspective, the unions are an amazing reflection of relationship with the heavenly groom and his wedding party. When I unite a couple in their nuptials, I am reminded of the reality that I already know: Someday I will be married again, and that wedding will be out of this world. Talk about a celebration. Wow!
When I married my spouse, part of the vows included something like “I promise to give you the attention you deserve, even when the Bears are playing” (which gives you an idea how long I’ve been married, as these days, it is not as special a vow as it used to be — if a native Hoosier male, substitute Colts in place of Bears).
When a family member became wed, his spouse-to-be had a marriage contract drawn up in the shape of Chicago’s Wrigley Field (what it is with weddings and sports metaphors I really don’t know, maybe it’s just my family).
They were (and are) both diehard Cubs fans and were still married when their team won the World Series back in 2016 (see honeymoon notwithstanding). Part of the vows? “I promise to love you as long as there is grass at Wrigley Field.” They are still both married and still in love, and the home of the Cubs still sports a lawn any mower can gladly sink its gear teeth into.
The newer version of wedding vows came about in the late 1500s, as authored by Thomas Cranmer, archbishop of Canterbury, in his “Book of Common Prayer.”
In a poetic sense, American citizens (and those in the process of becoming them) could be considered the fiancée of their betrothed, the United States of America. Our country is the groom-to-be and us likewise, his bride.
So what would happen if we, as the bride-to-be, pledged some common wedding vows to “him” (midst a common ceremony) and responded accordingly? It would probably look something like this.
Dearly beloved
To be dearly beloved is to be loved above and beyond others. There is a difference between being beloved and being be lusted. When you’re watching TV with your spouse and you say with the lips what has been concealed in your heart that so and so is “hot,” it intimates that your wife isn’t. Rejoice with the wife of your youth (Ps. 5:18-21).
In a similar way, as American citizens (or those aspiring to be the same), don’t long for your old way of doing things. Do a new thing and fall in love with your country all over again. Loving the Democrats or Republicans is lust. Being enamored with the republic and its backbone, the Constitution, now that’s love. You wouldn’t listen to an ignorant stranger tell you how to cultivate your marriage. Don’t heed the “wisdom” of others to that end, either. Listen to your heart, not the media.
We are gathered here together
The people of America are an accumulation of peoples, in large part, once displaced. It’s impossible to be intimate with your mate when you continually stay in separate parts of the house. Likewise, the only agenda you need is the one that brings you together with others for a common cause, not one that says you’re unified by bringing disunity midst the masses.
In presence of God, witnesses
Regardless of the nuptial couple’s religious preferences, most agree in the sovereignty of a God to some degree or another and willingly submit to the prospect that one that created the world and all that therein is would have been around the block enough times to offer counsel midst trying times (see framework).
And what are witnesses?
Those who corroborate the validity of something. They testify to the veracity of an event, and we commonly think of them as those who share the Gospel story. The New Testament Greek gives greater meaning: A witness is a martyr, one willing to lay down his or her life for the “good news.” Sound familiar? It should. It describes past, present and future members of the U.S. military.
Enjoy embracing? Embrace your witnesses.
To join this ‘man’ and this ‘woman’
You can’t give unto another what you don’t already have for yourself. Once we’re unified as a people, it’s easier to see eye to eye with those who haven’t yet seen the wisdom of wholeness.
Questions
They not only give us information (when answered), but serve as a platform from which the bride or bridegroom can discover themselves.
When I stood before the judge at my first wedding (my first wife has since passed), I was nervous, like most grooms, and when the craggy-faced scary-looking guy in the flowing black robe asked if I would take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife, I giggled (note to self: Not a good plan).
Religions vary, as do their traditions and beliefs, but all told, most seem to ask the same fundamental questions when it comes to uniting two in marriage:
“Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?” (Taken specifically from the Methodists).
Response
So how should we, the “bridal citizenry,” respond to the proposal of our “national groom?”
By making the right choice
Having a mate is the result of such a choice, and we won’t win any points by answering the question with “Maybe” or, “Hmm, that’s a good one. Let me think about it and get back to you.” To have (and to hold) is something we purpose to do, and it not only means we can trust one another to have our respective backs, but enjoy the resulting intimacy, as well.
When we say “Yes” to our “groom” when we commit to fidelity, when we pledge to do what we can to keep him healthy and nurse his wounds, when we say “You are my agenda, and I am yours, and no other will succeed in coming between us,” then that will be a match made in heaven.
As the late U.S. President John F. Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
I’m getting excited.
Les Linz of Seymour writes the “Humor: More or Les” column. For information about Linz, visit his amazon.com author page. Send comments to [email protected].