Since I have time on my hands, I have been researching the Oreo cookie.
I have found tons of information on the subject. Surprisingly, I have discovered outrageous things about myself. You see, I am a twister, then eater. True, I twist the two cookies apart and eat the cream side first, then the other. So in my research, I have been called a psychopath and a straightedge to the extremist because I didn’t dunk my Oreo in milk. Well I never!
On top of that, the worst was yet to come. You see, I took the Oreo Test of Personality. Yes, there is one; look it up. If you are like me, you shouldn’t have. It said terrible things about me. My section was #6 True I do sometimes take things apart to see how they work and then can’t put them back together. But calling me a convulsive liar was going too far. Well, sure I have fibbed a bit, but what’s that got to do with how I eat a cookie? Well! There was other stuff that I won’t get into. If you take the test, you will see.
Well anyway, I don’t care what they say, I like the lemon ones. I never knew there were so many flavors: Red velvet, cookie dough, brownie batter, peanut butter, etc., and of course the regular dark chocolate and cream filling. I don’t think our stores stock the exotic ones. There are pages and pages on the internet on how to eat them, all the way from deep frying them to proper dunking. In general, there is no one proper way. Seems everyone is their own judge and jury.
Have you ever studied the design on the Oreo? Well, I have. Being stuck in the house because of this virus does things to a person. There is a lot of history behind this. Even back to the Knights Templar and one that I knew a little about was the symbol that the scribes used at the end of a page. It meant “I did the best I could.”
And so, run out and get a package and do your own thing. Try the lemon ones. You’ll get hooked.
Don Hill is a resident of Seymour and has served as a volunteer at Southern Indiana Center for the Arts for more than a quarter of a century. Send comments to [email protected].