We’ve been considering some basic principles on parenting as we consider how to fight for the important relationship we want to have with our children.
We’ve already decided that God wants us to do our best. It is important to be consistent and remember that his grace is greater than our faults.
Next, it is important that we establish boundaries as parents. Be careful to provide age-appropriate boundaries for your children, then allow them to make decisions within those boundaries.
It is important that you make sure the boundaries are clearly communicated upfront. And I would encourage you to say “yes” as much as you can. As parents, it is easy to get stuck on saying “no.” I wish I had said “yes” more often.
As parents, it is important we don’t make every choice for our children. Allow your kids to reap the rewards of good choices and let them suffer the consequences of bad decisions.
Even though it will be hard on you, don’t bail them out when they have chosen poorly. Allow them to experience the pain of a bad decision. That is part of how they learn.
That leads to a third important principle: Give them the freedom to fail. It is a good idea to remember that your kids are not your kids. They are God’s kids. He has placed them on loan to us for 18 to 22 years. The way we raise them will either prepare them for life or it can hold them back.
Sometimes, parents are afraid to let their kids fail. Instead, they rescue them or bail them out. Parents say they are rescuing their kids because they love them, but sometimes, it is because they are afraid of what people will think of them as parents. Let your kids take responsibility for their actions. It is part of the learning process for them.
Next, it should be our goal as parents to be approachable. Our kids need to know that we are approachable and that we are available to them. And approachability is spelled T-I-M-E. Life is so busy. You will have to fight to carve out time for your kids, but that is one way to let them know how important they are to you.
You can’t just do this parenting thing effectively by committing only a few minutes to the task each day. Parenting requires large blocks of time. Make time to be there for your kids. Don’t just see them in passing. Make sure they know you are approachable. They need you.
Steve Greene is the lead pastor of The Point in Seymour. Read his blog at pastorgreene.wordpress.com or email him at [email protected]. Send comments to [email protected].