Commitment happens when the mood you made the statement in is gone and you are still going.

Am I committed? Sure, I am — committed to the process and to the reasons.

But the middle section before you begin your descent down that mountain you have been climbing is ugly. I am there in the muddy, ugly, hard middle. And from the looks of it, the middle is a good 50 miles long still.

So how do you struggle through the middle? The answer? Who knows? How is that for some honesty.

Currently, my struggle is simple meal prepping. Summer is awful. You get stuck in that rut and spin farther down, and before you know it, you are eating fruit snacks at 12:30 a.m. because you are hungry from no time to eat the right way. It happens.

Am I alone? Nope. You are reading this right now saying, “Dang, I hope she doesn’t know about my late-night dumb decisions.” Guilty as charged. We all are.

The thing you have to overcome is not letting it become a habit and not beating yourself up about it. Those close to me are reading this going, “Um, Heather, you are the worst at this,” and I am. But that is why I am sharing.

I have barely lost 7 pounds in the month of June. June also had some of the heaviest stress of my life in it, too, so midnight fruit snacks and pop it was. I paid for it, though. Don’t you worry one second.

So where am I on my race prepping? Man alive, I am killing it. My first race Jan. 1, I walked the whole thing.

My practice races I do weekly, I have shaved a full 10 — back up, hold up, wait a second — 10 minutes off of that time (party rock anthem is playing). Get the confetti poppers, people. It is 10. Huge accomplishment, and now, I am running. Whoa, Heather, pump your brakes. Who am I kidding? Fast jogging. I got a little carried away in my excitement of time.

Running? I only do that if there is a spider. But the important part is I am building. I won’t finish that race first. I might be last, but by golly I will not be walking.

I have sore muscles, blisters, achy joints, fatigue, cramps. I also have accomplishment, determination, success, pride.

Through all of the adjectives above, I also still struggle with worth. What is it? Do I have it?

I meet all sorts of positive along the way, cheering, praises, high-fiving, fist pumping. They seeing me on my walk/jog and shout, “Hey, Heather, keep it up.”

Those things are all so great and remind me why I am doing this.

But with the highs, there are lows. There are people who will always try and break you down. It can come in many forms.

Recently, I faced those breakdowns, and it came in the form of words: “You have always had a pretty face, but you have just been such a big girl I bet this weight loss is weird for you, for people to see you pretty now and not just your face.”

I smiled because let’s face it: That is what Mom taught me to do when you have nothing nice to say.

After I was done fighting through the response, I smiled and said, “Your definition of pretty is altered. I am learning to love myself for me, not for what others see me as.”

I don’t dismiss those breakdowns, I simply let them remind me why — why I do this, why I push this, why I love this and why I don’t become one of those opinionated people who say whatever they want with no regard of others feelings.

Be humble. Be happy. Be kind. Be determined.

All part of the process.

Heather Chase is a Seymour resident chronicling her weight-loss and fitness journey. She is writing a monthly column, published on the final Friday of each month, for one year with The Tribune. Send comments to [email protected].