Instead of fighting in your relationships, how about deciding to fight for them instead? Relationships are worth the fight.
We have been studying the relationship of King David and his first wife, Michal. There is a principle that impacted David and Michal’s relationship almost 3,000 years ago, which still affects marriages today. Michal seemed to forget that she and her husband, David, were on the same team.
In a faithful and committed marriage relationship, your spouse should be first. Apart from God, your spouse should always be the priority in your life.
Marriage just goes better when the person who knows you best loves you most. Your spouse is not to be one of many priorities in your life. They should be your first and your best.
Early on, David fought to win Michal’s hand in marriage. At that point, there is no doubt that Michal was David’s person and David was hers, but priorities apparently began to shift. It seems like Michal’s daddy, King Saul, came between this bride and her husband.
When a couple gets married and as they begin their life together, each spouse is undoubtedly the priority of the other. But then one of you gets that job that you’ve always wanted, and that job can be consuming. If you aren’t careful, that job becomes your priority. Or other people begin creeping in and they take the place that should belong to your spouse.
Maybe it’s the kids. Children enter the picture through birth, adoption or fostering, and now, they are your priority. It seems like it takes every minute of every day to care for them. There really isn’t much time or energy left for anyone or anything else. You can barely keep up with your daily tasks.
In scenarios like these, so often, your spouse gets the leftovers. They get the leftovers in regard to your time, attention, energy and affection. After all, there is only so much time in the day.
You only have so much energy. You only have so much affection. You’re trying to keep all of the plates spinning, but at the end of the day, there’s just not much left. The tank is running dry.
In moments like these, couples can begin traveling some very unhealthy paths. It often begins by throwing ourselves a pity party.
Soon, our focus is on ourselves above our mate, and we move to the dangerous place of being consumed with our own personal wants, needs and desires. It is a recipe for disaster.
Steve Greene is the lead pastor of The Point in Seymour. Read his blog at pastorgreene.wordpress.com or email him at [email protected]. Send comments to [email protected].