Craig Davis
When I was a young adult, I did not believe in aliens, poltergeists and other supernatural occurrences.
But when I started raising children, I witnessed many phenomena that can only be explained by the supernatural.
While living in Indiana, I experienced several authentic phenomena. On one occasion, I had to call the plumber because the kids’ toilet wouldn’t flush. After removing the commode from the floor, the plumber showed me a bar of soap that was lodged deep in the p-trap.
I asked the kids, “Which one of you did this?”
Almost in unison, the kids responded, “Not me!”
Over the years, the patterns reemerged time and again. A broken lamp. A new bottle of shampoo knocked over and drained into the tub. Writing on the furniture. No matter the transgression, my children always insisted they were innocent. At first, I continued to erroneously blame my son and his sisters, but gradually, I came to the conclusion there was only one reasonable explanation: Our house was haunted.
Naturally, I felt guilty having cast the responsibility onto my kids all of these years. But I apologized to them, and from that point forward, I made sure to place the blame squarely on the poltergeists.
But something strange happened when we moved to Maryland. The missing items, broken furniture, spilled liquids, food containers left open and other freaky manifestations continued to take place. I realized the odds of a second house that we moved into also being haunted was astronomically low.
And it is common knowledge that spirits are trapped inside the confines of the house they died in, right? So the Hoosier ghosts didn’t travel to Maryland. I mean, come on, do you really think they were stowaways in the U-Haul? And if my wife and I didn’t spill that sticky juice on the floor and neglect to clean it up and if my kids insisted they knew nothing of it, then it had to be aliens. That’s right.
The doors and windows remained locked from the inside on the mornings I would wake up to find board games, books, dirty dishes or toys scattered throughout the house. I knew that nonterrestrials were responsible.
But new occurrences over the years in yet different houses, different states and even different countries were inconsistent with either of my two earlier theories. During the most difficult teen years, cash or other valuables would sometimes disappear into thin air. Alcohol would vanish. Once, $800 in mysterious charges for items that my wife and I did not make inexplicably appeared on my credit card bill.
A few years ago, while very responsibly driving her car, my adult daughter hit a parked car in a supermarket parking lot. After she explained to me that it wasn’t her fault, I started to realize there were forces in the universe that science had not yet discovered. It was a little spooky.
Sure, the candy wrappers, potato chip bags or the occasional dirty bowl and spoon suddenly appearing in our grandkids’ bedrooms might be explained by the existence of ghosts. Or you could understand how aliens rendered dry toothbrushes immediately after the little ones promised they have brushed their teeth. But bad grades, missing homework and incomplete science projects? The fault lay elsewhere.
Sure, the fact the teachers pick on my grandkids might explain it once in awhile. But the consistent messages of incomplete schoolwork from multiple teachers throughout the academic year, when we know for a fact they are on their electronic devices doing their homework for hours at a time, give me a break. That is no coincidence.
Just this week, the principal complained my grandson and other students were trash-talking on the soccer field. And my grandson contended while the other boys were saying inappropriate things, he had never done so. And last month, my 9-year-old granddaughter revealed the long black mark on the wall about shoulder high in the stairwell was committed by our cat. Freaky, right?
All of these phenomena must be the work of a witch (or warlock) that has cast a spell on our family. Or maybe a voodoo priest or priestess is using effigies of my offspring as pin cushions. After all, scientists agree that inside a blackhole, the laws of physics, as we know them, do not apply. Therefore, it is not farfetched to believe some yet-to-be-discovered supernatural force is responsible for all of my family catastrophes.
This holiday season, we parents and grandparents must remain vigilant. Do not make the mistake I made by blaming my innocent children and grandchildren for transgressions they do not commit. When you experience missing Christmas cookies, uncleaned rooms, wasted hair products or other unexplained phenomena, keep an open mind and seek logical explanations like I do.
Craig Davis, who was born in Seymour and graduated from Brownstown Central High School, currently lives in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and works for a U.S. government contractor on school-based violence prevention. He is the author of “The Middle East for Dummies” and is conducting research for a genealogy and social history book in Kurtz and Freetown. You can visit the Living with Cancer weekly blog at marvingray.org and write him at [email protected]. You also can follow his travel blog, “Cross-Country Bike-Packing at 63: SE East Asia,” at marvingray.org. Send comments to [email protected].