Steve Plasse
By Steve Plasse
Guest columnist
Congratulations to Rep. Jim Lucas — he wrote such a nice column about his accomplishments last week — and all of our supermajority Republican leaders for their enlightened victories in school-related legislation, and thanks to Gov. Eric Holcomb for signing these revolutionary reforms to the woke public school system.
The bills passed, and one they stopped will go a long way to relieving us of the inconvenience of critical thinking skills, diversity, fake science and all of those other woke dangers lurking in our schools.
Thanks to these good men and Lucas’ Senate Bill 41-8, guns will be more present inside schools where all of our teachers and librarians can be trained and ready to dispatch dissent and danger with precision and good split-second judgment.
Imagine the sudden calm in the classroom when your child’s 22-year-old first-year teacher struggles for a moment to maintain quiet in the classroom, so he lets his hand down on the gleaming sidearm in its tooled leather holster. What was it granny said? “Spare the glock, spoil the child.” More guns mean more safety, and therefore a more productive educational experience.
And thanks to the “shenanigans” your columnist whined about (4/26), our grooming school faculty will be forced to post their smutty “literature” for all of us to see by July 1. We all know teachers and librarians don’t have enough judgment to choose high-quality reading material for our children.
Now, good Hoosiers, the next step is yours. Be the first to ban “Charlotte’s Web,” that woke trash that might scare our vulnerable children with its depiction of death, compassion and even spider reproduction for God’s sake. Let us come armed with our pitchforks and kerosene to burn “Fahrenheit 451.” Why do we need useless stacks of books in schools anyway when kids have TikTok and Chat GPT?
Next, thanks to these vigilant men for standing up against kids who want to choose their own pronouns, make medical care decisions with their families and doctors or have woke self-determination. The Soros-backed Democrat Party can complain about a few school shootings as much as they want, but we all know that allowing a handful of kids to identify in the way that makes them comfortable is clearly a bigger problem
Finally, as we witness the strange weather, tornadoes, floods, fires and droughts, from the comfort of our SUVs and climate-controlled homes, let us be thankful to Sen. Rick Niemeyer, chairman of the Environmental Affairs Committee, for not giving an inch for the second year in a row to the students who worked with lawmakers to craft Senate Bill 335 and a state “climate solutions task force.”
By not even allowing the proposal a vote in his committee, he taught Hoosier kids and I hope their parents an important lesson. This is the kind of trouble we get when kids can read anything they want, start to think for themselves and get engaged with representative democracy. Thank you for putting these radicals in their place. How dare mere children try to speak truth to power when it comes to preserving their future on God’s creation.
We should all be thankful for such enlightened, God-fearing men to lead us forward into a future ringing with gunfire. Unburdened by books with uncomfortable passages, our children will be rescued from all of the trouble of truth or justice or wisdom, relieved of individual choice or self-reliance. And we, their parents, can live unperturbed by any troubling “science” that might foretell the consequences of our actions on our children’s future. Thanks to these men who were so careful in their governance, our kids will be the smartest and safest in the world.
Steve Plasse of Crothersville is a public school teacher who was recently told by a student who read “Fahrenheit 451,” “We’re here now.”