Reassembling a broken relationship requires four important decisions.
First, I must decide to get back to, not get back at, the other person. As I mentioned last time, this means retribution and retaliation are off the table. Our heavenly father models this for us so well. Our sin separated us from a perfect and holy God. His response was to send his son to die for our sins. (see John 3:16)
We were the ones who sinned. We were the initiators of wrong. Because sin separates us from God, we were the ones responsible for severing the relationship. John 3:17 tells us that “God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him.” God’s desire is for our broken relationship with him to be restored.
God sent his son to the ones who had broken the relationship. God did not send his son to get back at us. Jesus came to get back to us. He came to rescue us and reestablish a relationship that was broken. Second Corinthians 5:19 tells us that “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.”
For reconciliation to take place, at some point, I must decide to take what you did to me out of the equation. I decide to release it and let it go. This can bring so much health and healing to so many relationships starting right now.
Isn’t that what God has done for us? He removed the obstacle to reconciliation before we even knew about it. Romans 5:8 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Think about that. While we were yet sinners, while we were still sinning, God sent his son to die for us. He removed the obstacle of our sin so that reconciliation could take place.
My question is this: How are we doing at following his example? If we are followers of Christ, who have been given this message of reconciliation, how can we go on living in relationships, where as much as it depends on us, we have not done our best to live in peace or to reconcile?
As a dedicated follower of Christ, it is impossible to justify an unwillingness to reconcile with the people around us, unless there is a reason that would be unsafe or unwise for us to do so. These instances are usually the exception. That is why we want to do our best to get back to, not get back at, the people involved in the conflict.